Make your own free website on Tripod.com

The Crew


Name : David Lister
Age : Over 3 million years
Ocupation :Third Technician (Lowest Rank On Ship, Apart from the Labratory Mice), Bum
Former Ocupations : Trolley Attendant at Sainsbury's Megamarket, Liverpool, Earth
Education : Minimal
Further Education : Failed all exams. 97 minutes at Art College
Skills : Believes himself to be a Ace pool player and great guitar player. Has written 'The Indling Song' and the definitive 'Om'
Hobbies : Slobbing, Eating, Zero Gee Football(Favourite team London Jets), Baiting Rimmer, Durex VolleyBall
Musical Taste : Rasta Billy Skank (Contains the warning 'May cause disorders of the nervous system and bowels'). First song learnt to play on guitar was 'She's out of my Life'
Alter Egos : Spanners, A Squirrel, Sebastian Doyle, Bret RiverBoat, Detective Philip out of the game 'Gumshoe'
Origins : Liverpool, Found in Cardboard Box Under Pool Table in pub. Adopted father died, told that his father had gone to the same place as his goldfish. Later taken to a child psychologist when found with his head done the toilet reading him the football results
Relationships : Kristine Kochanski (Hopefully), Lisa Yates, Deb Lister, Rimmers Mum, Inflatable Rachel, Lady Sabrina Mulholland-Jjones, Michelle Fisher, Pete Tranter's Sister
Marital Status : Maried to a Gelf (Had no Choice)
Children : Twin Boys, Jim and Bexley (He was the mother)
Species : Human
Ambitions : Get back to earth, marry Kristine Kochanski and buy a farm on Fiji where they will breed horses, cows and sheep. Also has hopes of opening a chain of hot dog and doughnut diners

Name : Arnold Judas Rimmer
Age : 32 When Died
Ocupation : Second Technician, was incharge of the Z shift aboard Red Dwarf
Former Ocupations : None
Education : Sent to IO House (Unlike his brothers. Blames his not becoming an officer on this fact) Also attended Cadet School
Further Education : Maintenance course at Saturn Tech. Has been Trying for four years to learn Esperanto
Skills : Disciplined, organised, dedicated to his career, always has a pen, being a smeghead
Hobbies : Morris dancing, holidaying in the deisel decks, Owns a collection of photographs of twentieth century telegraph poles, playing risk (has kept a record of every game played since cadet school), leads the skutters in Hammond Organ recital night
Musical Taste : Reggie Wilson, whose style of Hammond Organ music has produced 'Reggie Wilson Plays the Lift Music Classics' and 'Funcking up Wanger', Reggie Dixon's 'Tango Treats' and several Janes Last albums.
Alter Egos : Willian Doyle, Ace Rimmer, Dangerous Dan McGrew
Origins : Born on IO, one of Jupiters moons. Refers to mother as a 'bitch queen from hell'. Father used to put rimmer and his brothers on a rack to make them tall enough to enter space corp's academy
Relationships : Nirvanah Crane, Yvonne McGruder, Carol McCauley, Lisa Yates, Inflatable Rachel
Marital Status : Single (Forever)
Children : None
Species : Of human origins, hologram since readiation leak. Now has a light bee that can give him limited hard-light status, allowing him to touch things
Ambitions : To get a body, get back to earth, and find a woman who doesn't want to vomit over him in disgust. His biggest ambition is to become an officer

Name : Cat
Age : Not Known
Ocupation : Work Are You MAD !
Former Ocupations : None
Education : Instructed in the Seven cat commandments. Learnt of the Holy Mother, Frankenstien, and the true father of Catkind, Cloister (or Clister) the stupid who would return to lead them to the promised land Fuchal. Was also taught to read cat-style by sniffing the blank pages of cat books
Further Education : Rimmer taught him to operate the vending machines on red dwarf as a bribe over Listers Cigarettes. Can also Pilot StarBug.
Skills : Looking Good, Eating, Sleeping, Has recently developed his nasel abilities to a very high standard
Hobbies : Looking Good, Eating, Sleeping, Games - very partial to a game of Junior Angler Soap Sud Slalom and Unicycle Polo, playing with his shiny yo-yo
Musical Taste : 'Tonge Tied' (once dreamt that he was singing it accompanied by the rest of the crew on backing vocals). A twisted tape of 'Robert Hardy reads "Tess of the D'urbervilles"
Alter Egos : Duane Dibbley, The Riviera Kid and a priest
Origins : Lister's Cat Frankenstien. Evolved in cargo hold over 3 million years. Parents thought to be a cripple and an idiot, as they were the only cats left aboard after the Cat Wars
Relationships : HIMSELF
Marital Status : Single (But hopes to marry the right small group of woman)
Children : None
Species : Felis Sapiens (CAT)
Ambitions : To have sex with anything that smells better than Lister

Name : Kryten 2X4B 523P
Age : Not Known
Ocupation : Service android, duties include cooking, cleaning and general dogsbody
Former Ocupations : Service android Nova 5, duties include cooking, cleaning and general dogsbody
Education : Programmed when assembled with a number of skill chips
Further Education : Has been taught by Lister to Rebel and lie by showing him such films as 'Rebel without a cause' and 'Casablanca'. As a result is really getting the hang of his 'Lie Mode'
Skills : Has learnt to pilot StarBug and passed the pilot's examination . Speaks fluent Esperanto. Excellent sandwich-maker (uses a set square). Taught to play the piano by ace Rimmer. Scrubs a mean gusset
Hobbies : Work, Watching Androids, Sleeping
Musical Taste : Enjoys Copacabana (uses this tune when he is off-line)
Alter Egos : Jake Bullet, Sammy the Squib, Bongo, Human for a little while
Origins : Manufactured by Diva-Droid International. Overrode built-in obsolescence function to stay with Red Dwarf Crew
Relationships : Camille
Marital Status : Single
Children : None
Species : Series 4000 Mechanoid
Ambitions : To find a planet with a suitable atmosphere and grow flowers and trees in his own garden. Failing that he would love to get that really stubborn stain out of Lister's long-johns

Name : Holly
Age : N/A
Ocupation : Red Dwarfs Mainframe Computer
Former Ocupations : None
Education : Has been programmed with an IQ of 6,000
Further Education : Constantly updates memory banks by referring to the Junior Colour Encyclopaedia of space
Skills : Perfectly capable of day to day running of red dwarf despite suspected presence of the computer virus senility which could reduce IQ quite drastically. Self confessed blind spot for sevens
Hobbies : Extensive collection of singing potatoes, reading, in particular Agatha Christie Novels
Musical Taste : The Carpenters 'Good-bye to Love'. Dislikes Olivia Newton-John records. Totally revolutionised the music world for Hol Rock by inventing two new notes, Woh and Boh
Alter Egos : Melly and Queeg 500
Origins : Manufactured by the Jupiter Mining Corporation for service on Red Dwarf
Relationships : Sinclair ZX81, Hilly
Marital Status : Single
Children : None
Species : Tenith Generation AI hologramatic Computer
Ambitions : To be restored to former glory and be able to count without banging head on the screen

Email the Web Pages Technician